Winkie of the Week: Prince William’s Spotted Dick

The editors of every celebrity gossip magazine in the world are pissing their panties with excitement over news of the blessed British royal unborn child savior that will soon pop out of Kate Middleton’s immaculately pruned rose bush. Which is pretty fucking retarded considering they have claimed she’s been pregnant for the last three years.

Kate Middleton Pregnant, Alone?
Yay! She’s finally pregnant! But she’ll always be alone…

But for reals, the entire world is over the moon with news of the royal baby. In fact, Alexander McQueen is currently being exhumed from his grave and will be reanimated by Russian scientists to work alongside Sarah Burton to design the Princess’s birthin’ gown. Princess Beatrice is reportedly very excited to once again wear her Royal fallopian tube hat, and Pippa Middleton is planning on showing up to the delivery room and birthing triplets out of her flawless, bouncy ass (that fucking bitch loves to steal the show.)

Back dat ass up.

On a serious notes, many congratulations to Will and Kate. May their first child be a masculine child. Also, may their first child inherit Kate’s hairline and not Will’s….

baby“No way! Your baby is so cute! Receding hairlines on infants are SO in right now!”

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