Roll Call: The Best and Worst Dressed of the AMAs Part 1

Last night TVs across America collectively decided to not give a fuck about the 40th Annual American Music Awards. I didn’t tune in because I was nursing a pretty severe hangover and had to wax my gooch. Even though I didn’t watch the awards I am still going to judge the fuck out the outfits that paraded down the red carpet last night.

Taylor Swift: D+

 Taylor Swift

 

WOW! A gold sparkle dress with gold strappy shoes? FUCKING SNOOZE. I would give anything to see TayTay show up in a pair of Xtina’s old crotch sweat stained chaps from her Puerto Rican hooker phase.

 

Ke$ha (are we still going with the $ instead of a ‘S’? Ok, sure. Whatever she wants.): A-

Ke$ha

I’ve got to hand it to her…this dirty $wamp monster cleans up nice. I would wear those shoes. Her legs look like they belong on a Jessica Lange type sexy older woman but whatevs, she’s not covered in trash so I guess that’s a $tep up.

 

 

Justin Beiber, A++++

Justin Bieber
I love this little dyke. She is adorable and she’s wearing a leather shirt. I could do without the Steven¬† for Steve Madden driving loafers but overall this is a hot look.
Nicky Minaj: F—-
I am so over this dumb trick and her fake ass. The only good thing she ever did was her verse on “Monster” and that was 49 years ago. She looks like my pee after I take too much B12. I hate her dumb mouth.

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