Well That Was Fucking Horrible.

Ah, the holidays! A time for eating, laughter, fun, togetherness, tears, insults, and binge drinking as a hysterical displacement activity.

 

Taylor

Pictured: everyone in America for the last 5 days.

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Ah HELL to the Nah!

After 28 years of sticking his fingers inside a matted red bush, Kevin Clash has resigned as the voice of Elmo. As we’ve learned with past sexual escandalos when a trick resigns from his job it’s usually because some shasty shit is about to bubble up. I don’t blame Clash for resigning. It’s better to face a public sex scandal in the privacy of your own home where you are free to cry into boxes of birthday cake Oreos rather than show up to your job at a children’s show and face a room full of side eyes.

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Roll Call: The Best and Worst Dressed of the AMAs Part 1

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Last night TVs across America collectively decided to not give a fuck about the 40th Annual American Music Awards. I didn’t tune in because I was nursing a pretty severe hangover and had to wax my gooch. Even though I didn’t watch the awards I am still going to judge the fuck out the outfits that paraded down the red carpet last night.

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Terms of Endearment: Throwing Shade with Tiffany Pollard

As a service to the non-gay community I thought it would be a great idea to define the words commonly used by your gay best friend. Learn the lingo, use the lingo, but for fuck’s sake, don’t make a GIF and ruin the lingo.

 

 

Seriously, the GIF thing is getting out of hand.

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Panty Dropper: Elmo

The world caught a big case of the sads yesterday when it found out that Elmo’s master had done the nasty with some underage chirrun. 24-year-old Sheldon Stephens accused Elmo’s handler, Kevin Clash, 52, of partaking in inappropriate relations when Stephens was 16.

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Role Call: The Best Moments from RHOBH

When you’re a little kid, staying home from school was truly awesome. You were waited on hand and foot, you got a cold or warm compress professionally applied by your mom, you had access to unlimited popsicles, chicken broth, Goldfish crackers, and you had nonstop Saltines on deck. Judge Judy on the reg. Montel reruns for hours. That’s the life, son. Read the rest of this story »

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Sorry Not Sorry

Please excuse my lapse in posting yesterday. I felt a lot Kim…

Same.Just because I’m deathly ill doesn’t mean I don’t want to eat Taco Bell nachos for lunch.

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Winkie of the Week: Dodger Wolf

One of the perks of my job is that I am paid to look at gay porn all day long. Yes, the days are long, and hard, but it’s my duty to provide you with all the twinks, bears, Oklahomos, chickens, Bean Queens and Gaysians you could possibly want.

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Congratulations on Your Impending Gay Divorce!

Gay couples, rejoice! This election was a huge victory for gay America, black America, Latino America, America Ferrera, South America, Central America, stoned people in a few states in America and the rest of the world.

Mike and IkeProp. 982: Mike and Ike Protection Act finally passed!

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